It’s almost time to go back to school, which means that all the children will leave the online gaming world (which, for the most part, is a good thing). One of the most common themes I see living in the suburbs is that people love to openly display that their child is on the honor roll at their middle school. While it’s great to celebrate your child’s academic achievements, in the long run, nobody really gives a damn about your kid being an honor roll student in middle school, and I’ll tell you why.

Middle school achievements are nothing

Being an honor student in middle school is probably the easiest, most pedestrian, and average achievement in history. If people are so up in arms about participation trophies in sports, why aren’t they up in arms about this? It’s the biggest participation trophy ever. I recently saw a car where someone put six of these on the back of their car. Did they really have to advertise that their child achieved mediocrity six times? Things like this make me question whether or not we are winning the war on drugs. The actions of people suggest that more people are on drugs than off of them, and it cannot be more true than in the actions of suburban parents who believe that middle school honor roll is the pinnacle of achievement.

On a personal note, I spent middle school in another country (which will go unnamed, but the majority of you should know) where kids barely have enough to eat and the love of money is actually celebrated rather than disdained, even among the Catholic clergy who really run the country and who are supposed to set a good example. With role models like these, no wonder the main goal of many people living there is to leave.

You can’t put middle school honor roll on your resume

If I put this on a resume, people would laugh at me and tell me to leave (I disdain the hiring process as it stands right now, but that’s another argument). But really, what importance is middle school honor roll in the real world? To get on the honor roll in middle school, all you really need to do is have a pulse. Unless you die in the middle of the school year, or your parents are so pathologically screwed up (or on drugs) that they don’t care about your grades in school, how can you NOT get on the honor roll? It seems that the idea of middle school honor roll is to make everyone feel good about themselves, rather than actually getting any academic work done or focusing on character development.

Your kid isn’t the best at everything

On top of celebrating mediocre achievements such as middle school honor roll, parents like to tell their kids why they can’t be like other kids. Guess what? Those kids are on the same honor roll. Unless “other kids” cured cancer or brought about world peace, why does it even matter? You’re all the same in the eyes of society. Your kid is most likely average, which is okay. This does not need celebrating, and raising kids isn’t some sort of competition. I’d love to have smart kids, but at the same time you have to deal with the RNG god known as genetics. The idea that we have to make our kids “like other kids” or that they have to be on the honor roll in middle school (let alone make it a huge deal) is ultimately counterproductive to their development. I don’t see parents from other countries bragging about how smart their middle schooler is, so is it really just something that America does to feel good about themselves?

You’re probably a poor parent

There is NOTHING worse than poor parenting. Terrorism, global warming, drug addiction, and natural disasters can never do the damage that poor parenting does. People can recover from all of these things. I have seen the effects of poor parenting first hand. I know a person whose parents actively encourage him to not seek help for schizophrenia, one of the most debilitating mental disorders in existence. What does poor parenting have to do with it? You need to hold your children to higher standards than making the honor roll in middle school. You have to encourage them to think for themselves (sadly, doing that gets you hated) and be open-minded. Being able to take a test isn’t some mind-blowing feat, which is why being in the honor roll in middle school is the most average achievement you can ever get. Stop enabling your children to be mediocre, and change your priorities.